Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
