We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he fucked my hip out of place.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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