He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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