I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
