Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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