Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
