I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
honey bunches of taint.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
