eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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