I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
