woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
