your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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