we're chasing vodka with high fives
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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