He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize