why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
