Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Congratulations! We have a period
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