just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
