just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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