oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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