The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
