i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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