why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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