just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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