Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize