Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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