Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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