so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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