i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
