You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
