But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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