I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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