You can't special order awesome
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
