I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
