Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
