is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
