Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
