i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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