Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Drake has all the answers
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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