well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
