Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize