A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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