Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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