We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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