It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.