no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I feel like I smell like bad decisions