It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
