Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
