Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?

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(314): View more from Missouri

My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?

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(415): View more from California

if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.

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(757): View more from Virginia

He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?

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(440): View more from Ohio

the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat

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(757): View more from Virginia

I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."

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(310): View more from California

I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020

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