he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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