I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
