This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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