I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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