Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize