you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
