I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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