if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
